Self Love Exercises – Part 6

From the Good Tribe:

>>6. Take time to redefine your boundaries. These boundaries may be emotional, physical or mental; they may relate to work, relationships or your health. You might look at these areas of your life & realize that everything is going swimmingly, in which case, great! But you might examine them & see that you’ve got a bit of work to do.

Do you say “yes” when you mean “no”? Do you take on other people’s work or problems as if they are your own? Do you feel that in your relationship, the only person who ever compromises is you? It’s time to put your foot down & stand up for yourself. No one else can do it for you!<<

So this isn’t a problem for me here in China… but I am heading home in 3 weeks and 6 days and one of my previous problems was saying NO. For a couple of months now I’ve been writing out my goals for when I return home and affirmations to continue on the path of wellness… physically and emotionally. One of the things I will have to practice actively and intentionally will be saying NO. I’m a pushover. Always have been and I LOVE helping others, but often it is to the detriment of my well-being… so here’s an upfront notice to my peeps… I’ll be saying NO more often. It’s not because I don’t love you or have “changed” from living overseas, it’s because I must in order to maintain my sanity and be happy with our relationships… I’ll still say YES at times, but mostly when it’s good for me! Just setting healthy boundaries and loving myself… Got it? GREAT! I think it’s going to be awesome to be home :D

Do you have a hard time saying NO?

Ciao!

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12 thoughts on “Self Love Exercises – Part 6

    • Thanks, Shannon… I’m feeling about 80% this evening which is a good thing :) I do the same thing… Sometimes saying yes,mthen coming up with an excuse, which is probably worse than just saying no in the first place!

  1. Hi Sandi, good for you! I have so much trouble saying NO! Yes just blurts out of my mouth when I’m asked a favour. Mark is always saying tell people you need to check your diary and get back to them. School holidays are the worse for this because as I wok in a school I have every holiday off, friends know this and I have a couple of “friends” who literally dump their kids off at the door saying you don’t mind! Arrrrggggg! Something I need to work on! Hope you are feeling better :) x

    • Mark’s a smart guy! I think I’ll incorporate that! Awful that people would be inconsiderate and drop kids off on school holidays :( Sounds like we both need to practice saying no!

  2. Great piece of advise. Sometimes it’s hard to say NO. You may feel you are offending someone or you may feel obliged to say yes. But saying NO in a nice way works. And you’ll be surprised how many people are ok with it!

  3. Hi Sandi, I have been following your blog now for almost a year and find it sooooo inspirational. you’re an amazing woman. I started Dukan last September and reached my goal weight by Christmas. I have spent the last few month basically avoiding carbs but find that some of the weight has crept on again so i shall be refocusing come September. Anyhow, just to get back to saying no, I found Brene Brown’s work on the subject fascinating. her take on it is: choose discomfort over resentment. In other works, face the immediate discomfort of saying no, rather than the long lingering feeling of resentment for saying yes. i’ve been trying this in my life and it helps a lot. Check out her talks here: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.htm: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html

    • Hi Gabs! Thanks for checking in and thanks for following my blog! Wow! Happy to hear you met your goal by Christmas. Have you had a successful consolidation phase?
      Thanks so much for the links! I will watch them tonight while having dinner :)
      ~Sandi

      • Hi Sandi,

        I didn’t have too much to lose (9 kilos) so was able to get through consolidation well enough. my problem was stablization. i got too cocky and put on 2 kilos, plus with summer vacations I kindof let it go. i know my vulnerabilities though and am ready to attack again in September (once the kids are back in school and the weather cools down here (i live near geneva and it’s baking at the moment). By the way, it was through your blog that I learned of C25K. I started 4 weeks ago. Had to laugh when you mentioned in a previous blog about your “relationship” with that b**th of a a voice that tells you to start jogging. I was thinking exactly the same thing yesterday as I pounded the pavement :-) Hope you enjoy Brene Brown. she is so inspirational. I’m going to listen to her talk at the School of Life in London in October. Can’t wait.

        Gabs

      • Oh that sweet, sweet lady telling you to run… Now I rejoice her when she says, “one minute left”… she’s my buddy… funny how that changes :)

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